I Hope You DISGUSTING DEMS Are Happy, Because Now A KNOWN SEX PERVERT Has A BUNCH MORE Free Time On His Hands

Just when I thought you Dumb-o-crats couldn’t get any dumber, you’ve somehow managed to find a way to take your stupidity to a whole new freakin’ level. After weeks of phone-banking and throwing political hissy fits on Facebook, you snowflake shitstains miraculously succeeded in getting radical leftist Doug Jones…

President Trump Needs To Stop Retweeting Anti-Muslim Videos Posted By British Bigots And Start Retweeting Anti-Muslim Videos Posted By American Bigots

Earlier this morning, President Trump retweeted racially charged videos from ultra-nationalist British party leader Jayda Fransen depicting Muslims being aggressive and violent. This tactless decision by our president truly caught me off guard, and he must reverse course immediately. I firmly believe that President…

LEGAL President Donald JOHN Trump Just Proved He’s Got A Heart Of Pure Sweet Chicken Sauce By Showing Up To An Elementary School And Screaming Amazon Reviews Of ‘Full Metal Jacket’

LEGAL President Donald JOHN Trump is the most POWERFUL and WONDERFUL of all of the presidents, and for proof, just look at his RICH MAN’S PENTHOUSE that he lives in! But even though LEGAL President Donald JOHN is tough as nails and SPANKS HIS LOYAL BOY ERIC until ERIC’S eyes fall out of his head, that doesn’t mean…

Liberal Hypocrites: Why Are Dems Criticizing Roy Moore When PEDO PREZ Barack Obama Is Still Married To FORMER TEENAGER Michelle Obama?

A liberal witch hunt is on the prowl for Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore. The respected former judge is being attacked for OCCASIONALLY BEFRIENDING young girls using ROMANCE, and his senate campaign is on THIN ICE because of this smear campaign of the liberal media. Meanwhile, while the vicious liberals are…

Gun Rights FTW! When A Patriot Sensed This Demon Was About To Rape Him, He Stood His Ground And Killed It With A Shotgun

The Founding Fathers gave us the Second Amendment so we could protect ourselves from evildoers, and it looks like their wisdom and foresight has saved yet another law-abiding American from harm. Earlier this week, when a demon flew into homeowner Jordan Bennett’s backyard in order to rape him, the patriot was able to…

Cruelty Of The Left: Why Is The MSM Attacking President Trump For Being Close With Putin Even Though It’s Really Hard For Adult Men To Make New Friends?

The BIASED MAINSTREAM MEDIA is on the warpath again, targeting President Trump just for keeping in touch with his friend Vladimir Putin. That’s right, patriots, the intolerant left wants to keep Trump away from Putin even though it’s very hard for adult men to make new friendships.

A Master Strategist: Steve Bannon Has Completed His Yearlong Plan To Become Increasingly Irrelevant Before Eventually Getting Fired

When Steve Bannon joined Donald Trump’s campaign as a key advisor last year, the left was right to be worried. Bannon’s reputation as a master strategist followed him through a stunning electoral upset and all the way into being Trump’s right-hand man in the White House. But today, the full shape of Bannon’s ultimate…

Our Brave Savior: Donald Trump Is Working TIRELESSLY To Return The Precious White Orbs Obama STOLE From The FURIOUS Dwarf King That Lives Under America

President Trump is hard at work to fix the disaster that idiot clown Obama left America in. The socialist bozo STOLE the Dwarf King’s precious white orbs, and the dwarven monarch is FURIOUS and SWEARS VENGEANCE against the surface world unless his beloved stone spheres are returned to his SUBTERRANEAN KINGDOM.…

I May Not Agree With Everything Trump Says, But It’s My Duty As An American To Repeat All Of His Talking Points Basically Verbatim

As a conservative voter, there are parts of Trump’s agenda that I agree with and other actions he’s taken that I find troubling or simply bizarre. However, as a patriotic American it’s my duty to memorize Trump’s talking points, ignore my own misgivings, and defend the president by quoting him essentially verbatim.

The Secret Plot To Replace Our Government With Sharia Law Is Terrifying, But I Can’t Think Of Any Other Way To Get Me To Stop Eating Carrion

Liberals have an awful lot of ideas about what’s “wrong” with America, but they seem happy to help the Muslims who are trying to infiltrate our society and overtake our government with their backward, barbaric system of Sharia law. I would have to be blind not to see this terrifying secret plot unfolding—but as much…

Did Bill Clinton Cheat On Monica Lewinsky With KILLARY? Yes, And Our GOVERNMENT Doesn’t Want You To Know

Just when you thought our LYING government couldn’t sink any lower, another SHAMEFUL story like this comes along. You are probably thinking, “Ugh! Let me guess…KILLARY again?” You, patriot, are sadly correct. Bill Clinton repeatedly cheated on Monica Lewinsky with KILLARY, and our GOVERNMENT doesn’t want you to know…

Treason: Meet The Gluttonous Meals On Wheels Senior Who Is Trying To Get Fat Enough To Crush The Liberty Bell With His Ass

While it’s no secret that millions of liberal welfare leeches across the United States turn taxpayer-funded social programs to nefarious ends every single day, few realize just how depraved the freeloaders of our grotesque entitlement culture truly are. Case in point: Gluttonous 89-year-old Pennsylvania resident Paul…

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